Navigating change can be a tricky thing, especially when it comes to your relationships. Change can bring excitement and growth, but it can also bring a loss of sexual desire.

Some couples can maintain their sexual desires in long-term relationships, but it takes commitment to sexual communication, sexual variety, and mood setting.

Be Authentic

In long-term relationships, authenticity is a critical part of maintaining intimacy. Being authentic involves embracing who you are, both inside and out. It also means being honest with your partner about your needs and desires, especially when it comes to sex.

If you’re not being honest with your partner about your sexual desires, it can cause the spark to fizzle out. This is because you’re not bringing your whole self into the relationship.

Many people learn at a young age that they must hide parts of themselves to fit in. This is a natural way to survive as a child, but it can have serious consequences for adult relationships. I’ve worked with couples in therapy who have a hard time connecting because they feel like they need to put on an act in their relationship. Being authentic doesn’t have to be a complete departure from your true identity, but it does need to include honesty and open communication.

Prioritize Communication

Open, honest communication lays the foundation for a satisfying sexual life. Discuss desires, fantasies, and boundaries with your partner regularly. Expressing your needs fosters understanding and strengthens the emotional connection, paving the way for deeper intimacy.

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Make time for yourself.

In a long-term relationship, a couple often settles into a different chemistry than they had in the beginning. That's not a bad thing, but it can lead to lower sexual desire and less frequent intimacy.

When this happens, it's important to remember that it's not necessarily the partner's fault; it can be due to outside factors like kids, work, or other personal goals that take priority. But if the passion isn't there, it might be time to talk about the issue and figure out ways to rekindle that spark.

A good place to start is by reintroducing old things that used to give you pleasure. This could include things like sex, but it also might include activities like date nights, cooking together, massages, and other forms of physical affection. (Non-porn-based masturbation may also help!) The key is to be open and honest with your partner about what works for you.

Talk about sex

Talking about sex can be uncomfortable, but it's also important to keep the lines of communication open. If you're worried that your partner is less horny or that there are other problems in the relationship, it may be helpful to seek professional help, like a sex therapist or educator.

A common fear is that talking about sex too early will kill the mood, wreck the buildup and anticipation, or make you look like a prude or desperate. Instead, experts recommend setting aside time to have a sex-positive discussion. Wright says this type of "appointment sex talk" should be outside the bedroom so you don't sabotage your intimacy with foreplay.

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Be sure to talk about your individual libido levels and sexual fantasies. That can be a great way to open up new possibilities for pleasure and create a greater connection. It's also a good idea to discuss what you both want from the relationship and your boundaries.

Plan date nights.

When it comes to maintaining a healthy sex life in long-term relationships, it’s important to plan fun and adventurous dates. Not only does this help keep the sex life alive, but it also helps couples bond and connect.

Oftentimes, people stop wanting sex in a relationship because they get bored with the same routine. This is especially true for couples who have children, are struggling with money issues, or simply want to focus on other areas of their relationship.

Women and men experience this phenomenon differently. While men can still be aroused by touch and kissing, women need a deeper connection to be motivated to have sex. That is why it is important for couples to try new things and take a few risks together, like pushing your partner against a wall to kiss or giving one another a foot massage. This will help to increase feelings of vulnerability and exploration, which can lead to arousal.

Conclusion: 

In the ebb and flow of long-term relationships, nurturing intimacy requires intention, effort, and creativity. By prioritizing communication, exploration, and emotional connection, you can keep the flames of passion burning bright year after year. Remember, the key to a fulfilling sexual life lies in fostering a deep and enduring connection with your partner.